This past week, I cleaned and cleared my office, and then moved on to my spice rack, my closet, my calendar. In the minimalist climate stirred up by the likes of Marie Kondo, I am mastering the art of letting go and saying, “no”. Which is a small miracle for this people-pleasing-addict. I usually want more of everything, and I have an insane and well-maintained belief that I can do everything. These bad habits have not always lead me to peace.
It’s not easy to let things go. Especially if you suffer from the disease of “good-enough” and “better-than-nothing”. It’s kind of hard to surrender that dress that you never fit into and let go of all those books that went unread. But tougher still is the letting go of shabby relationships and lukewarm collaborations. But I am in the business of coaching people to be “Hot Knives Through Butter”. It’s not okay for me to accept subpar is any area of my life. So I had to pull the trigger and practice No-ing from my knowledge and my knowing and make some hard and truthful choices.
No-ing is the act of saying no to what no longer serves you, pruning out the dead branches, agreements, relationships. I had to take some DEEP breaths.
I had a few clients that I had taken on at a discounted rate (maybe more than a few) because I figured, “they would be my safety net. Some money is way better than nothing.” But the more I work with NO-ING, the more I see how destructive that mindset can be. What I came to find is that I could have great instead of good enough and that sometimes…nothing is actually better than some thing. Go figure.
So I let those agrements go and sat in the empty, open space, and surprisingly I felt wonderful! Some of the vacant spaces filled up with full paying clients and some are still empty… and I am good with that.
Saying “no” is a powerful spiritual practice that tells the Universe, we have banished the illusion of scarcity.
Here are a few tips when saying “no”.
- No is a full sentence.
- Just because you can say “yes”… does not mean you should.
- Changing a “no” to a “yes” is way easier than changing a “yes” to a “no.”
- You are not a bad person if you say “no.”
- Get all the facts before making a choice. The more you know, the more you can no.
So what are you thinking about no-ing! I would love to hear from you.
Maureen Muldoon is The Spiritual Vixen, a happiness Pied Piper, intuitive vision caster, fearless activist, writer, speaker, storyteller and thought leader. She is the spiritual director of SpeakEasy Spiritual Community and creative director of Voice Box. She hosts conversations that inspire individuals and organizations to get on course with their own brilliance. She blogs at ~ MaureenMuldoon.com and Vlogs on YOUTUBE